She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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