he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
