i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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