Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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