what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
