We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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