Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
