The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
