I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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