you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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