what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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