it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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