ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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