wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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