I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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