i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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