No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How naked do you want me to be?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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