I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
