yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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