Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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