i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
