Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize