Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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