That's intense
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
