well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
