I showed him my bush... on skype.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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