Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
