If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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