Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
