She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
