Your mouth is God's brothel.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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