I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
