Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize