She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
