my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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