i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
