I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
