oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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