How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
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We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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