Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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