My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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