We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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