I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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