all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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