Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
