He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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