so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
