Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And then he peed in my hair
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
