Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
