guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Who died my cat blue again?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
