its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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