I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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