Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
