so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
