i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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