All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
