Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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