I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
