Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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