Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.

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  (440): pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me. http://tfl.nu/oa57
  Replies (48) Good night (4904) Bad night (992)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

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  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2880) Bad night (5032)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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  (843): By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours. http://tfl.nu/tce7
  Replies (17) Good night (1787) Bad night (5750)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?

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  (847): I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me? http://tfl.nu/3ncq
  Replies (5) Good night (1459) Bad night (4062)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

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  (817): You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go http://tfl.nu/d1mz
  Replies (15) Good night (5427) Bad night (1507)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments

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  (304): She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments http://tfl.nu/75se
  Replies (88) Good night (14856) Bad night (3145)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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  (207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y
  Replies (43) Good night (9668) Bad night (1616)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.

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  (713): Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is. http://tfl.nu/q4lm
  Replies (4) Good night (4755) Bad night (1006)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.

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  (505): I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time. http://tfl.nu/7aud
  Replies (6) Good night (2509) Bad night (924)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball

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  (724): Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball http://tfl.nu/n4gl
  Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (726)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.

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  (817): Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer. http://tfl.nu/fjqn
  Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (609)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

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  (253): He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. http://tfl.nu/jtoq
  Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (1169)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.

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  (734): I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game. http://tfl.nu/jsqs
  Replies (7) Good night (441) Bad night (746)
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  (714): View more from California

  I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.

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  (714): I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over. http://tfl.nu/3mpl
  Replies (16) Good night (471) Bad night (1608)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.

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  (724): At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped. http://tfl.nu/hng6
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (460)

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