Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Have you learned any life lessons?

  (406): View more from Montana

  I like big butts and I cannot lie.

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  (303): Have you learned any life lessons? (406): I like big butts and I cannot lie. http://tfl.nu/s51u
  Replies (11) Good night (2894) Bad night (697)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range

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  (316): Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range http://tfl.nu/j5nd
  Replies (11) Good night (876) Bad night (2345)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.

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  (314): I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis. http://tfl.nu/ymag
  Replies (16) Good night (4956) Bad night (588)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day

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  (989): I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day http://tfl.nu/4uqd
  Replies (11) Good night (2055) Bad night (4682)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

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  (703): You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason. http://tfl.nu/7b14
  Replies (12) Good night (3654) Bad night (1197)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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  (770): i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot http://tfl.nu/xdnv
  Replies (27) Good night (7099) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.

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  (801): This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me. http://tfl.nu/7tsq
  Replies (19) Good night (1067) Bad night (3631)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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  (413): Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn http://tfl.nu/nu2n
  Replies (8) Good night (735) Bad night (1240)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.

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  (519): The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated. http://tfl.nu/ajsd
  Replies (5) Good night (1508) Bad night (968)
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  (483): View more from

  Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?

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  (483): Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she? http://tfl.nu/qpva
  Replies (7) Good night (919) Bad night (1525)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.

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  (832): Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles. http://tfl.nu/3k5e
  Replies (4) Good night (1620) Bad night (485)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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  (206): All you need to know is that isn't jizz http://tfl.nu/nxjk
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.

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  (773): Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment. http://tfl.nu/iyng
  Replies (3) Good night (258) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level

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  (919): I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level http://tfl.nu/r2br
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.

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  (+44): I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices. http://tfl.nu/eayv
  Replies (2) Good night (548) Bad night (231)

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