Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.

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(816): I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery. http://tfl.nu/2bt2

Replies (1) Good night (1151) Bad night (625)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Man I wish I had been there

(314): View more from Missouri

Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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(314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a

Replies (11) Good night (2855) Bad night (716)
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(317): View more from Indiana

you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.

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(317): you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american. http://tfl.nu/y2yd

Replies (24) Good night (6596) Bad night (1323)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class

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(865): Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class http://tfl.nu/k0s2

Replies (23) Good night (4592) Bad night (1535)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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(703): The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up. http://tfl.nu/ttp7

Replies (14) Good night (5832) Bad night (1901)
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(727): View more from Florida

whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.

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(727): whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob. http://tfl.nu/6fb1

Replies (6) Good night (1019) Bad night (2891)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.

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(757): I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class. http://tfl.nu/buxk

Replies (11) Good night (2580) Bad night (1143)
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(310): View more from California

Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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(310): Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god" http://tfl.nu/2xo4

Replies (10) Good night (4473) Bad night (964)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.

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(503): He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive. http://tfl.nu/kzk0

Replies (10) Good night (676) Bad night (2422)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.

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(334): I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line. http://tfl.nu/l1fz

Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (1007)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested

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(978): The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested http://tfl.nu/v6c6

Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (634)
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(330): View more from Ohio

As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.

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(330): As yoda would say; A bitch, she is. http://tfl.nu/vx3o

Replies (3) Good night (1133) Bad night (429)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?

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(270): How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before? http://tfl.nu/mcbw

Replies (2) Good night (987) Bad night (594)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.

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(952): Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate. http://tfl.nu/tke3

Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (435)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants

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(617): I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants http://tfl.nu/2nl4

Replies (1) Good night (914) Bad night (365)

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