Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
