Don't make out with my wife yet
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon