we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
