I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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